I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and we
started talking about the time I borrowed his car. Funny to him, more traumatic for me, he encouraged me to
blog my side of the story.
The air conditioner in my car went out and Tom encouraged me
to take my car in because driving even my 6 miles home became unbearable in the
July, Texas heat. He offered to
let me borrow one of his cars while his mechanic was fixing my car.
So it was Monday night that I took over the keys to his
vehicle. The first thing I noticed
about the borrowed car was that it looked like Tom had lived out of it for a
couple of weeks. There was an open
box of cereal on the front seat and workout gear thrown in the back. There were random odds and ends
including a hammer and loose keys.
I piled all the front stuff on the passenger seat and chose to ignore
what was in the back.
On Tuesday, I got into the car and noticed a strange
smell. I called Tom and told him
his car had a smell to it. He laughed
it off and said it was probably his used workout gear in the back seat. Made sense to me, probably because I
don’t really know what used workout
gear smells like.
I was meeting my cousin in town that evening and wanted to
leave work early to beat rush hour.
I got into Tom’s car and the smell had gotten worse. Since I had to be in town I didn’t have
time to deal with the origin of the smell but did stop at Walgreen’s to buy one
of the heavy-duty, huge air fresheners in the can. I cleaned up the rest of the crap on the passenger side
expecting to find a dead mouse or something. No mouse but I felt better that it was cleaner and now
smelled a bit better.
I met Sam at a restaurant and I explained to him the issue
with my car and the borrowed car.
We laughed about the fact that beggars can’t be choosers and he said he
would drive us around to sightsee.
At least this wasn’t too embarrassing and when Sam dropped back off at
our meeting point, he came over to smell the car and he agreed that something
was wrong with it. At least I
wasn’t crazy. I did, however,
think maybe Tom had some horrible issues with his work out gear or maybe he
really was homeless living out of this car.
Wednesday morning it was obvious that the huge-ass can of
freshener was doing hardly anything to put a dent in the smell associated with
the smell. I had read a story
about a squirrel dying when it was caught on a car engine and died. I was actually too scared to look under
the hood to check. I was only using this car for one more day so I figured I
could push through. When I got to
work, I called Tom (yet again) and told him I thought the smell was getting
worse. He pooh-poohed me and
excused it by saying it was most likely his workout shoes and gear that was
heating up out in the sun all day.
Driving home in the car, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I stopped at Walgreens again and bought
another freshener to put in the back.
I bagged up all his workout crap and shoes and tied it and shoved it
behind the seat. I did start to
dry heave a bit, but I thought it was more to do with me touching someone
else’s stanky running shoes rather than a source of the smell.
Thursday morning as I walked up to his car (which was
outside) I could smell it. The
smell had now made its way outside the vehicle. Like it was haunting me. I opened the door and the real dry heaving came. I couldn’t stand t. I rolled down all the windows and ran
back into my place to grab my spray freshener. It was 6:25 in the morning and I was spraying my high-end,
boutique, lilac freshener inside Tom’s car. I used the entire can.
Seriously.
The smell was slightly less unbearable, now the stink was
masked by both the fancy lilac and canned ocean scent. I started my short drive and was
coughing a gagging. Halfway there
I realized I was going to have to stop and show my badge to get on site. OMG. How embarrassing would this be? I decided to keep all the windows rolled down and when I
rolled up to the security guard, I stuck my arm and the badge as far out of the
window as I could. There is no way
possible that the guard did not smell the dead fragrance coming from all
windows. I didn’t even look at him
in my humiliation.
I parked the car, rolled up the windows and got out as fast
as possible. Thankfully, it was
early enough in the morning that didn’t have to park by anyone. I got into my office and realized the
stink had followed me. No lie. It was in my bag, clothes and attached
to my hair. I had a co-worker
confirm that I stunk. Lovely. I tied my hair up into a ponytail and
took my workbag outside to air. I
keep a sweater at work and put it on, ignoring that it was 100 degrees
outside. I promptly called Tom and
left a message for him that I would not be driving his car anymore and that I
would rather walk home. He laughed
me off (again) and said my car was done and would bring my keys later that day.
When he brought my keys, I tried to explain to him how awful
the situation had gotten. I told
him I bought air fresheners and how I thought it was more that just workout
crap. He thought I was being a
wuss.
Vindication was mine when he called me later that
afternoon. He said he was walking
out to the car and was 50-60 feet away when a smell overwhelmed him and he
realized the smell was coming from his car. When Tom got the car home, he emptied it out. Turns out there was a BAG OF MEAT in
the trunk of the car that he forgot about. OMG. Who
forgets a bag of meat? For three
days???
Next time I borrow anyone’s car I will be checking the trunk
first…
