Verbal Filtering is a Good Thing

I think in social situations you should try to use your internal filter when talking with others.  Some children, unfortunately, have not developed filters and therefore say whatever they feel.

They point, yell or even laugh to express themselves.  In church, a child may point to the pastor and ask aloud whether the person behind the pulpit is actually God or point at someone who looks different.  Some parents laugh this behavior off, some ignore it and some just don’t take their kids anywhere until they are old enough to know better.

Kids have to go to school though.  Filter or not, loads of children head out to various classrooms for a day of learning and social interactions.  I work with kids but I also used to teach, so I know a little something about this.

I taught kids in kindergarten and first grade.  Many of these children had not developed their filters.  This became very apparent when they would share information during show and tell or in a sharing circle.  Honestly, I think parents would die knowing what some of their kids would share with the entire class.  Show and tell became dodge ball for me.  I would constantly be stopping a story or directing the story down another path.  I learned MORE than I needed to know about their families. 

I learned one little boy’s parents were free to be, or liked being naked, so when their son started undressing on the playground, this made sense; he was only doing what they do at home.   Someone shared that she went to her great-grandma’s house and got to play with her nana’s teeth (that were not in her mouth!).  I learned about jobs that were lost then found, about sisters and boyfriends, moms with diarrhea or dads that pee with the doors open.  Some of these stories I was able to stop, but some were shared so quickly that even the fastest of teachers couldn’t stop the story from entering the circle. 

Here is a note to parents everywhere…if there is something you don’t want your child to share, you must tell them.  Don’t assume they know that mommy is having an issue with flatulence because her stomach is upset while driving to the school.  Rest assured, they will leave that car and tell the first person they can about mom’s farts and leave out the part that she is not feeling well. 

Kids seem grow into their filters, too bad I know some adults that haven't…